Ok. I admit it. I am Scrooge incarnate.
Oh, to count all the ways I detest the Christmas "holiday". It's bad enough that virtually any public place I venture into during the middle of November already has Christmas crap up, but then I'm subjected to endlessly looping holiday themes as I make my way through furrows of lost looking parents with their screaming kids. To me, those shitty holiday songs are the B-Movies of the Music world. I don't know about you but Elvis's "Blue Christmas" makes me want to puke up what little holiday cheer I've inadvertently retained. Oh, and don't even get me started on the barking dog version of "Jingle Bells". Whose idea was that piece of crap?
Happily enought though, I have sought and stumbled upon refuge in the form of Monty Python's "Ho Ho Fu#k&ng Ho". Good old Monty!
I would have to say my biggest beef with Christmas is blatent commercialism. Holy hell what is the point? More latent house crap anyone?
Ever gotten a gift that you pawn off on another unsuspecting soul? Like the cashmere sweater episode of Seinfeld. Now that's holiday entertainment!
Well, if you'll excuse me I have to go watch all of the Home Alone movies consecutively to completely anhiliate any trace of a Christmas buzz. Make sure it's good and dead.
By the way, yes I would be that guy on the block who doesn't put lights up! Haha! Suckers!! Wait till you get the bill......
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