wIsh me luck

Well, flying out to California. On Christmas day no less.......

No, no, NO!

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (AP) -- The board of a St. Louis charter school on Wednesday placed a principal on leave after he had police handcuff a 5 year old and drive him around the block in a squad car to curb his unruly behavior.

Oh. dear. god.

"Principal Sam Morgan is on leave from Thurgood Marshall Academy pending an investigation into last month's incident, board attorney Wayne Harvey said.Morgan said he had police "put the handcuffs on one arm, put him in the back seat of their car and drive him around a little bit.""

And the police actually did this????? And with no permission slip..... Wonder if THE ENFORCER gave the cops a couple extra bucks to rough the kid up a little. You know, as long as there's no bruises?

There you have it folks, Missouri tax dollars hard at work. Save a criminal, arrest a toddler. Holy fuck.

BE THE COOLEST KID ON YOUR BLOCK, sign up for the official Missouri Squad Car tour.
Think about it, they could generate some serious revenue.

"Morgan added: "This kid is heading for the Department of Corrections at 5. He fights, strikes somebody practically every day on the bus. He's a constant disruption.""

HOW ABOUT SOME COUNSELLING, shithead? You know, maybe a little parent-teacher conference? Who lets these people work with kids?

On second thought, why not just throw the kid in the electric chair now and save some room on Death Row!

SaNtA BaBY

Ok. I admit it. I am Scrooge incarnate.
Oh, to count all the ways I detest the Christmas "holiday". It's bad enough that virtually any public place I venture into during the middle of November already has Christmas crap up, but then I'm subjected to endlessly looping holiday themes as I make my way through furrows of lost looking parents with their screaming kids. To me, those shitty holiday songs are the B-Movies of the Music world. I don't know about you but Elvis's "Blue Christmas" makes me want to puke up what little holiday cheer I've inadvertently retained. Oh, and don't even get me started on the barking dog version of "Jingle Bells". Whose idea was that piece of crap?
Happily enought though, I have sought and stumbled upon refuge in the form of Monty Python's "Ho Ho Fu#k&ng Ho". Good old Monty!
I would have to say my biggest beef with Christmas is blatent commercialism. Holy hell what is the point? More latent house crap anyone?
Ever gotten a gift that you pawn off on another unsuspecting soul? Like the cashmere sweater episode of Seinfeld. Now that's holiday entertainment!
Well, if you'll excuse me I have to go watch all of the Home Alone movies consecutively to completely anhiliate any trace of a Christmas buzz. Make sure it's good and dead.
By the way, yes I would be that guy on the block who doesn't put lights up! Haha! Suckers!! Wait till you get the bill......

Ode To The Internet Wierdo

I don't know you
You don't know me
Yet you wanna "cyber"
Still you wanna meet

I don't have a cam
at least not for you
to sit in your home
and jerk off to

You're an internet wierdo
Yeah I know your game
A,S,L
Where you from again?

Your face I know
I'll never ever see
Why oh why oh wierdo
Do you bother me?

Are there really chicks who go for this?
Or maybe they're really boys
Pass the anal-eze
Break out the sex toys

All I really know
Is I don't wanna end up
Duct taped hog-style
In the back of your van or truck

So, Internet wierdo
Pardon me if I'm rude
But In this day and age
it's a survivalist attitude

So have a nice day, pervo
hope you finally find
another friendly wierdo
to put that carrot up your behind.

BLASPhEMOUS RUMORS

WELL HOWDY. It's Friday night and my sorry ass is sitting here having some thoughts. I don't know what the fuck this mood is, maybe it could have something to do with the circus that is my life. All that's missing is a barking seal and a child molesting clown. Oh, wait. Got the child molesting clown covered. Wonderous!
Anyway, today I went to work like normal, driving 80 down the Pali to avoid being late and thus incurring the wrath of upper management. Fat fucking lot of good that did. The owner of the company I work for (which shall remain nameless) sat me down today and explained that she was giving my "job" to someone else. I knew I was getting fucked but I smiled and let it happen. It was just like watching a plane crash. I choose my battles though.Whoopty fucking doo!
I wonder if what they say is true. You know, that whole thing about "When one door closes another opens"?
Is that just more bullshit like when they say someone who's ugly has a "Good Personality"? And I don't know about you, but I've chased down a lot of rainbows here in Hawaii and never found one god damn pot of gold.
Methinks things can only get better.
SCOTT PETERSON was found guilty. Too bad he wasn't famous. He might've gotten away with it a la Orenthal J. No witnesses, no concrete motive! Screw a sailboat! He should've invested in that white Bronco....Although the concrete anchors were a nice touch. What a moron.

Hey, sorry about that!

Women recant sex abuse allegations
Man sentenced to life in 1984
Raleigh- N.C.

So, apparently two women have come forward to recant accusations of sexual abuse levelled at an innocent man who just spent 20 years in jail! 20 YEARS, for a crime he didn't commit! I admit it, my mind is once again blown by the audacity of some people.

"The accusers, cousins who were 4 and 6 when they made the charges, were expected to testify Friday that they falsely accused Sylvester Smith, 53. He was given two consecutive life sentences in 1984."

Dearly departed Grandma pressured the girls to finger the poor guy in the molestations to cover up for a nine year old cousin who later ended up in jail for murder anyway.

Their Lawyer....."[Gore] said he first heard from one of the victims this summer, when she wrote that Smith was being punished too harshly".

Hmm, you don't say? Too harshly??

"If the charges against Smith are dropped, he can petition the governor for a pardon. If one is granted, Smith could be entitled to as much as $400,000 in compensation from the state."

So that's the state of North Carolina's fix to 20 lost years of a life?

Let's do some math:

$400,000 divided by 20 years = a whopping $20,000 a year

All that, and he even has to petition for a pardon!

Unbelievable.

Americans run to Mexico for flu shot

Coronas, maybe. Flu shot, no.

cHIM CHIM Sherry

Pink champagne is a godsend. Or maybe I just think it is in this moment. Whatever the case, it's doing the trick.
Maybe everything that I thought that I knew about life is all wrong. How can one ever be sure? The big bad world is a crazy place, the craziest thing being that there is no road map. There are no signs in the grand scheme of things, no arrow saying you are here (or not all there)!
We muddle through, though. We do what we have to do, I suppose.
I like my blog. It has no nutritional value, but it's still satisfying! Kind of like a pork rind. It is my vacation, my thought Disneyland if you will.
I have been learning a lot about the impact of thought on individual life perception. Sometimes I laugh at how funny the human race really is, and how for the most part we, (myself included), don't even realize it. If there are extraterrestrial beings of extreme intelligence out there I bet they just love to watch us walking around in circles banging our collective heads on the wall day in and day out.
I went to see "Team America: World Police". It was pretty good, I'd have to say the best thing about it being the Team's triumphant theme, "America, Fuck Yeah!". The tune is quintessentially American and in the tradition of the genre absolutely gaudy and over the top. The movie as a whole is by turns uproariously funny and dreadfully boring. I think Matt Parker and Trey Stone must have been sleeping off the drunk while the middle of the movie was produced as it seems to collapse as a result of the sappy underlying love story and dark cinematography. Brian fell asleep during Kim Il Jong's ballad, put it that way.
Trey and Matt: More cruel, biting satire; less weepy bullshit please! Your art scratches a certain itch for your fans.
You gotta hand it to the South Park duo though. Keeping people entertained for an hour and a half with sticks and strings is no small feat. And although some of the movie misses the mark, it's worth it to witness a ham-stuffed, hot-dog armed Michael Moore strapped with explosives burst into a screeching ball of flame.
Oh, and then there's the puppet sex.

France to jam mobiles in theaters

France. Ah, yes. There's a bunch of people with waaaay too much time on their hands. I almost forget what their last foible was, banning headscarves perhaps? Heck, it's not like they're out fighting wars or something so I can see how they might have the time to save the world one movie theatre at a time while simultaneously grappling the throes of that pesky religious headgear.
Maybe they should leave cell phone usage protocol as is. Might improve French cinema, who knows?

And the world thought we were crazy for buying Alaska.......

I think France needs to send ambassadors to Taiwan and North Korea. Have them aging cheese in no time. Who needs nukes when you've got linebergher?

Au Revoir

Musharraf 'reasonably sure' bin Laden is alive

WELL I'M GLAD SOMEBODY IS! HOLY SHIT!

All things Bright and Beautiful

Oh my gosh, it's Friday! I feel dizzy like a hippie at the height of the Haight-Ashbury psychedelesis! And yes, I think I just made that word up!
I have been bummed lately. If I may use that word, bummed. It honestly doesn't describe how I have felt given the current trajectory of the world at large. If you've read any of my previous posts you know of my affinity for sweeping the news every day, devouring the latest details of day-to-day developments. And maybe it is because the media largely only notes those things of morose quality, but I have been pretty disappointed with what I have seen.
I have been sad and sickened by the "hostage" situation in Iraq. Honestly, people, would any true God really want us to cut off our brother's heads to prove a point? And when it comes down to it, we really are all brothers in humanity here. Yes, we are at war. Yes, your country was "invaded".Yes, innocent people have died at the hands of all parties involved, but to kill for the sake of killing is purely animalistic. Our God did not give us free will for this sort of thing.
Given, anyone could say that those taken hostage did not belong there in the first place. But personally, I think that they have just as much right to be in Iraq working for whatever reason as those citizens from Iraq who have naturalized to the U.S. have the right to be here. Fight the war with those who are there to fight it and leave those who aren't party to it alone. People are detained. Civilian casualties happen in war. And like it or not, our countries are at war! No amount of frivolous decapitaiton is going to change that.
So, if you have ready this far, know that I am not a political person. And if this pissed you off, good for you. Means your brain is working and you are ahead of the power curve. Congrats on that.
In no way is any of this meant to make light of a very serious situation. My heart goes out to the families of those lost, and also to the masked men who have chosen to commit such heinous acts. May the Lord, (WHOEVER he/she/it is) be far more merciful than you when it comes your time.

More blogging fun!

Hey folks, sorry it's been so damn long. What can I say, I had better things to do! What, you may ask could be more important than blogging? Well, I am officially now a "college chick". Imagine that! Yes, I managed to make it into a University, Hawaii Pacific University to be exact. My classes start October 4th.
I wasn't sure what Major to pick. How in the hell should I know? If my life has changed as much as it has in the past few years, how can I honestly say what I want to be qualified to do in four years (maybe more)?
So, I guess you could say that I bit the bullet and put down Social Work. Screw it. Sounds good to me.
If you have no idea what you are doing, I say fake it. It's always worked for me, and it usually produces some interesting results.( It could also explain why I got left in Nevada two years in a row.....)
I think that's the beauty of higher education. You can keep on going until you run out of money, and learn to practice more than one profession.Or you can just never stop going. Or you can pay god awful amounts of cash to learn to be something and never actually do it. It's all up to you!
So, I am excited.
After all of my bitching about my job I have decided to stay on part time. Consider this equation : Some money = better than no money. It pays pretty good for Hawaii and for some reason they seem to like me.Go figger. I guess you really CAN fool some of the people some of the time. (You still can't pick your friend's nose though).
So, life is panning out, slowly but surely.
Oh, yeah. I adopted an Ethiopian kid through some place called Compassion Minstries. I now pay child support every month.It's kind of funny to me. He's cute, though, and if it helps, great. I probably would have spent the money at the bar anyway. Or on Jeep accessories.
So, anyway, I'm sorry for neglecting you. Really. =P More later. For now, just relax and digest.

shit on an ass cracker

I feel like crap today. But you know what? I don't care!
I have shit to do.
So, anyway, this morning I dropped the jeep off to get Rhino lined. Which means that even if it rains the inside should never stink like rotting dead things again. Good deal. I hate that nasty smell.
So, anyway, I feel like shit. More later.

mISS aLAbAMA nUrSINg hOME

Dear goddddddd, one more hour till I'm free from the sheer and utter misery of this prison called my workplace.......more commonly known as the depths of hell........

friday the 13th

Finally Friday! I thought the week was never going to end! Not that it hasn't been a semi-decent week but I'm so ready to relax.
Okay, so first of all let me re-iterate that I have no idea what the hell my problem was this week. I find myself stressing out over NOTHING. Well, maybe not nothing, but things that usually wouldn't get me all worked up.
I went and had my hair done yesterday at Gino Venti's. I'd have to say that Gino's is by far the best salon that I've ever been to. And Gino is just great. Every time I go I have to have him. Nothing like a strong Italian guy washing your hair! I think it has more to do with the strength of a man's hands really than it does him being Italian, or even attractive for that matter. Gino, if you ever read this (which you won't because you have better things to do with your life than read my pathetic carap), I don't think you're ugly so don't get all butt hurt. There, six covered.
But I think I am safe in assuming that he knows what he is doing.My hair always looks great when I walk out of there. Unlike Chicky at the last salon I went to who made me look like Ronald McDonald. The worst part was that she made out like it was the Taj Mahal of hair stying. Too funny. And really annoying when I actually saw it outside in the daylight Eeeuck.

I am about to become the ultimate diet Nazi. I saw some pictures of myself and to be honest I really hated them. It's not that I don't like myself as a person, it's just that I cannot stand being overweight. It seriously depresses the shit out of me. I like taking care of myself, I like looking good and being well dressed. I think that I should go with the course of action listed in the Phys Fitness MCI. Sounds good to me.
I am working on quitting smoking. I have seriously cut back. I just don't want to be 40 looking 80, plus it was making me feel like shit in the morning. I am going to go get my teeth bleached after I quit completely.
(* quitting plan not in effect from 05-00 hours beginning today, Friday the 13th. It is after all, Martini Friday!Cheerth!)
In other news, the cat has not pissed on me once in the last week. Yay!
MGySgt Dave (MrApathy78) has reappeared on the scene as confirmed by unit J-9 in a frantic early morning phone call from across the Pacific. A certain someone tried to tell him that I was MIA as always. Go figure. You know, sometimes I'm not sure if she's trying to protect me from them or them from me.
Funny how people from the past are finding me lately.
Well, the morning has been relatively tame so far. I am about to immerse myself in reports, maybe I'll dazzle you with more of my sparkling wit and the mundane details of my life when I surface for air.
I know you can't wait.

a tough nut to crack (WARNING: RANT)

I think I found my new favorite drink from (where else)... Starbucks! I typically either go with a plain black coffee or hot soy Chai, size Grande of course. This morning some wierd worm crawled up my ass so I ordered a soy Chai with a shot of espresso. Good shit. Got an interesting look from the chick at the counter though.....
So, I'd say it was a pretty rough day yesterday. I have idea what the hell my problem is, I was all emotional like a little girl. I think that it's just being unsure of things. It's like everything is so up in the air.
I know what I am doing with myself but I have no idea what is going on with anything else.
And I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but I am kind of keeping to myself because I don't feel like dealing with any more crap. It's already a shitstorm here!
I think what I need is a good cry. Yes, you heard me. A good cry. Some comfort. Sounds strange but doesn't everybody just need to be comforted once in awhile?
I don't know, I'm hormonal or something. Being a chick sucks. Yeah the perfumes and lotions and purses and shoes, etc, are neat but overall I'd have to rate the experience like a 2.
If you are too strong you are a bitch, you know. There's no "oh, she's a strong woman" about it. You are a BITCH, perhaps even a stupid CUNT.
And men have a hard time dealing with it. It scares them away. Or if they are insecure they think you don't need them.
I mean, I'm not overbearing or anything but I feel that each person is responsible for carrying their own weight in a relationship or otherwise in life. I feel that if a person is willing to be given to then they should care enough to want give back. And not monetarily. Fuck money! I'd rather be wearing trash bags living out of a busted wheel shopping cart happily, than carrying out a padded but miserable life.
I live my life passionately. I can't help it. It is who I am and who I will always be. I don't need drama. I don't need baggage, problems, or issues. I try not to let my past interfere with my future. And believe me my past has blown like Moby Dick. It would be easy to wallow in it but I choose not to.
I will live my life, I will love even though I've been hurt. And yes, I have been deeply hurt in the past but that's not going to stop me.
I have never found anyone that I truly loved that wasn't afraid to love me back. I mean no-holds-barred god damn I would walk across hot coals for you if you asked. Because that's how I am, and that is what love means to me. I am not asking to be worshipped or adored.
I would happily compromise for true love. It's when I compromise and it turns out to that the other person was only thinking of their own welfare that really pisses me off. It makes me feel used. I'm not a trophy. I'm not a diversion. I don't need all your attention constantly but I won't warm the bench forever. I need to be put in the game once in awhile.
I will tell you that I can't stand to be toyed with.
I'm very black or white. Either you like me or you don't. And if you don't fuck you! Chances are I don't like you either.
I am not a person who will "grow on you". I'm not a friggen wisteria for Christ sakes. What you see is what you get!

I'm not perfect, I never claimed to be, and most likely I never will be. Deal with it or don't.
Whew, I feel better........

holy damn

Wednesday. Payroll day. It's like a speedbump in the middle of the week. You're almost to the blessed weekend but nooot quite.... It's like a mirage in the middle of the Sahara! Just far enough away to piss you off when you really think about it.
So, I really don't know what the hell my malfunction is today. I have THE WORLD'S WORST HEADACHE, and my sinuses feel like they have rubber cement in them. I got caught lounging in my crappy work chair with my head hung over the back just staring at the ceiling.
You know, before I would have cared what the people that I work with thought. Lately, however, I don't really care what anyone thinks. I am tired of caring what people think, which is absolutely dangerous! Seriously, I feel like Jim Carrey at his most out of control. Think Liar Liar.
Anyhow, I hope that the powers that be are merciful and let this day go by as quickly as possible, not just for my sake but for that of the general public....
Prozac anyone?

Ah, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again!

Okay, so as part of my morning ritual I get on the net and check out what's going on in our wonderful world. I troll the likes of CNN and MSNBC looking for anything even remotely relevant. Relevant to what I have no idea.
Anyhow, I just want to take this opportunity to ask WHAT THE FUCK?
What in the hell are some people thinking? Case in point:

- A dispute over clothes and a video game system between a young woman and a squatter in her grandparents' house apparently sparked the vicious beating and stabbing murders of six people whose bodies were found late last week in a blood-spattered home, police said.

Ok! So six people were viciously murdered over a god damn X-Box? Apparently soome of the victims were so badly beaten that dental records were useless to identify them.

How about this one:

- A love-struck young man threw himself off his balcony Monday, two days after a quarrel prompted his girlfriend -- a member of Greece's Olympic judo team -- to jump from the same spot.

Wait, it gets better :

-Giorgos Chrisostomides, 24, was on life-support at an Athens hospital with injuries to his head and back. His high-school sweetheart, 20-year-old judo champion Eleni Ioannou, was at another hospital in critical condition with multiple fractures to her head and body. "It started about who would play solitaire on the computer."

So this guy jumps off a balcony after his girlfriend decides that if she can't play solitaire she better take her own life. Sounds like these two were a few nuts short of a brownie.

People just blow me away.
Maybe my life isn't really all that bad.

check this out

Pure genius!

http://fuggingitup.blogspot.com/

too much espresso

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: The information contained in this E-mail
transmission and any attachment is privileged, confidential, protected from
disclosure and remains the property of (INSERT BUSINESS NAME HERE)
until it is received by the intended recipient. If you are not the
intended recipient, please note that use, further transmission or
disclosure of this communication is strictly prohibited. If you have
received this communication in error, please REPLY to this message with
"RECEIVED IN ERROR" in the Subject Box as soon as possible, and delete it
from your computer without retaining any copies. Thank you for your
cooperation.

Well what if I don't want to delete it? What if I feel like printing it out and posting it all over town? Standing on the corner and passing it out.
Prohibited? Prohibited by who? Is the Email Police going to break into my office and arrest me? I could just see the headline for that. EP Apprehend Worker for Recieving Email in Error Without Deleting. Officials say low pay, yappy co-workers, and a crappy chair caused incident......

I bet that would make the terror alert level rise a color, too.
Hey, you are the moron who sent it to me "in error" anyway. Tough shit, pal. I ain't doing you any favors.

up and go

Theodore Roosevelt travelled West to overcome the sorrow of losing his wife and mother, who both died on the same day. After their deaths, Roosevelt spent two years on his ranch in the Badlands of Dakota Territory riding, driving cattle and hunting before he went on to become one of the most important figures of the 20th century. Throughout the remainder of his life in times of stress and trial, Roosevelt returned to his wanderings for solace.

crankiness

Monday Monday Monday! My favorite day!
If I wasn't concentrating on typing this I would be sitting here bobbing for cock~ The damn cat started to meow as soon as I got home last night and didn't stop ALL FRIGGEN NIGHT. I have no idea what his problem is!!
Why can't he just act like a cat and lay around, eat, drink, and take a piss where he's supposed to? What is so difficult about that? He needs some how-to-be-a-cat lessons. Kitty Boot Camp.
LOOK AND ACT LIKE A REAL CAT IN 7 DAYS! Show him some cat propaganda like Tom and Jerry cartoons, maybe make him play with those cute yet annoying catnip toys.
I don't know.
Anyhoo, it was a good weekend! A lot of things to talk about later. =)
How about never settle for cheap coffee?
Wal-Mart is a great place to hang out at 1:30 a.m.(in my expert opinion).
I have a sneaking suspicion that you know what I mean.

I'm baaackkk

Hah! And you thought you were rid of me.